Hier Damien m’a traitée de « petite obsessionnelle », venant de lui je sais que c’était juste une plaisanterie, mais je suis pas loin de dire qu’il avait raison.
Surtout quand je constate la capacité de mon cerveau à transformer un cauchemar en rêve, et un rêve en cauchemar. C’était un peu du ying-yang rêval, ni plus ni moins. Ca a mal commençé, et tout d’un coup ça s'est amélioré, juste quelques minutes avant de repartir en cacahouète. Et au final, quand je me suis réveillée, j'ai tout fait pour retourner à ces quelques minutes mais non, c’était pas possible alors je me suis dit vivement qu’il soit de nouveau l’heure d’aller au lit ^^
Et puis surtout, ce midi, j’étais en train d’attendre que mon frère émerge et que mon père rentre pour pouvoir manger, j’étais assise par terre devant les clips (sans rire, avec le chauffage au sol, c’est super confo) et pis je sais pas trop ce qui s’est passé, dans le clip que je regardais (je crois que c’était Tienanmen de Calogéro), il y a un gus qui a souri, et là j’ai pensé à lui. Le gus ne lui ressemblait absolument pas (il était même carrément chauve), mais c’est son sourire qui m’a frappé, comme s’ils avaient le même.
Mais par le fait, si mon cerveau est capable de faire des miracles la nuit, le jour il est trop pas doué, et ma mémoire des visages est proche de celle d’un poisson rouge. J’oublie à quoi il ressemble (déjà qu’en temps normal j’ai pas franchement le temps de m’attarder sur les détails, alors le souvenir que je peux en avoir est genre aussi net qu’une photo que j’aurais prise moi-même ^^), j’oublie même sa façon de sourire et ça me tue.
Alors je me dis heureusement que j’ai des partiels la semaine prochaine, et que j’ai plein de boulot pour m’occuper la tête, sinon je vais devenir complètement cinglée certifiée conforme avant la fin du week end. C’est trop horrible comme impression, ça me fait un nœud dans le ventre et ça me coupe l’appétit. Il y avait vraiment longtemps que je ne m’étais pas sentie comme ça … et je ne suis pas sûre que ça soit une bonne chose.
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